Phelps family values
Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) religijska je organizacija čiji su članovi, na čelu s “velečasnim” Fredom Phelpsom, odgovorni za prosvjede i ometanja pogreba, derući se da je “pokojnik to zaslužio”, jer “Bog kažnjava Ameriku zbog pederluka” koji bi, po njima, trebalo kažnjavati smrću (Iran, Somalija,… anyone?). Ovdje ćemo se malo baviti odgojem djece očito nedodirljivog “gospodina” Freda Phelpsa.
The Ubyssey, najveće studentske novine zapadne Kanade, donose priču Nathana, Fredovog danas skoro pedeseterogodišnjeg sina.
The mattock, a close cousin of the pickaxe, is used to dig through tough, earthy surfaces—it loosens soil, breaks rock, and tears through knotted grass. Its handle is a three-foot wooden shaft, twice the density of a baseball bat and its dual-sided iron head is comprised of a chisel and a pick. It was Pastor Fred Phelps’s weapon of choice when beating his children according to his son, Nate Phelps.
“The Bible says ‘spare the rod, spoil the child,’” explained Nate, “and he would be screaming that out as he was beating us.” One Christmas night, Pastor Phelps hit Nate over 200 times with a mattock’s handle, swinging it like a baseball player.
Svetost obitelji? Citiranje biblijskog “ne tucite djecu” dok ih mlatite motikom? Krasna slika jednog od poznatijih američkih kršćanskih vođa. “Svetost obitelji” – nula bodova!
Iako se možda čini nevjerojatno, ali psihološko zlostavljanje bilo je i jače od bat… pardon, motike. Njemu se nije moglo pobjeći:
Nate would hide out in the garage with his siblings, where he could escape his father’s wrath. What he couldn’t escape, however, was the fear of going to hell. He suffered much abuse growing up under the roof of the infamous Westboro Baptist Church (WBC)—he still suffers today.
Koliko “dobrih” Kršćana diljem svijeta djecu plaši Paklom? Zastanu li ti ljudi makar na trenutak da bi promislili kakav efekt na psihu petogodišnjeg djeteta ima prijetnja “vječno ćeš gorjeti jer <ubacite sami neki tričavi povod>”? Čisto sumnjam! I onda se pitamo zašto je svijet pun nasilnih frustrata.
Ali, evo, za sve “dobre”, bogobojazne Kršćane, evo kako to djeluje kad se dječja psiha siluje i razara takvim – za njih užasnim – prijetnjama:
Nate’s story tells of the “shadow—the dark, ugly thing at the back of their minds.” The fear of burning in hell never goes away, said Nate, who is still struggling with it himself. “It’s destructive. It’s hard to live life with that stuff in your head.” But he’s doing his best.
Pomoć bližnjem? Nema frke – zna čiča Phelps!
“A young lady got pregnant by a solider at Fort Riley,” explained Nate, “and [my father’s] response to that was to kick her out of the church…and that sent most of the people packing. There was already that siege mentality developing: us against the world.”
Što Shirley Phelps-Roper, Nathanova sestra, tatina ljubimica i danas podjednako “ugledna” predstavnica Crkve ima reći o bratu?
“Nathan Phelps is a rebel against God,” she said. “He has nothing to look forward to except sorrow, misery, death and hell….Great peace fell upon our house when Nathan left….He spit on the goodness of his mother and father. In spite of that, his father and mother loved him and did their duty to him…and required of him that he behave while he lived in their house. They loved him in the only way that the Lord God defines love! They told him the truth about what the Lord his God required of him. He was not going to have that!”
Ja ne bih da mene netko voli motikom po leđima. 😕
Još malo o djeci i što njihovoj psihi radi priča o “dobrom i pravednom Bogu koji te voli, ali će te i poslati da vječno goriš u Paklu ako ne budeš poslušna ovčica”:
The turning point was one Christmas, when Nate decided to teach his children about God. In the end, his son Tyler began crying in the backseat of the car, saying that he didn’t want to go to hell.
“He wanted to believe because he didn’t want to go to hell,” Nate said. “I was just stunned because I didn’t know what I had said or how I had left him with that fear. I thought I was doing a good job of presenting it without the fear.
“Thinking about it after the fact, I realized you can’t do that. With a young mind it doesn’t matter. You can try as much as you want to talk about how good God is, but the bottom line is there’s this intolerably frightening punishment if you don’t accept it. And how does a young mind deal with that?”
Nate agrees with prominent atheist and scientist Richard Dawkins, who has said that religion can be “real child abuse.”
Dawkins tells the story of an American woman who wrote to him. She was raised as a Roman Catholic and was sexually abused by her parish priest in his car. Around the same time, a Protestant school friend of hers died tragically.
“Being fondled by the priest simply left the impression (from the mind of a seven-year-old) as yucky,” she wrote, “while the memory of my friend going to hell was one of cold, immeasurable fear. I never lost sleep because of the priest, but I spent many a night being terrified that the people I loved would go to hell. It gave me nightmares.”
“The threat of eternal Hell is an extreme example of mental abuse,” Dawkins says on his website, “just as violent sodomy is an extreme example of physical abuse.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” asserted Nate. “In so many different ways we have abused children with religion over the centuries.”
Nate said that he is being contacted by nephews he’d never previously met who have made the same choice he did 30 years ago. One of them was Tim, who told Nate that he spends many nights crying himself to sleep. He’s scared. “Once he made the choice, he’s cut off. Everything that he grew up with is taken away from him, and he gets to wonder if he’s going to burn in hell….[He’s] living with that shadow.”
Nakon što je shvatio da “više ne može vjerovati”, “zajednica” ga se prema njemu počela ponašati kao da je izdajnik, brak mu je propao,… sreću je našao u Kanadi, s drugom ženom. Na žalost, posljedice psihoterora iz djetinjstva ostaju trajne:
“I do declare myself an atheist now,” affirmed Nate, “although I’m willing to admit that there’s stuff in life that I’m not real clear on yet.”
Despite this, he still lives with anxiety caused by his experiences over 40 years ago.
“I spent the first 25 or 30 years of my life denying that anything was wrong with me….Then bam: all this weird stuff just starts coming out.
“It’s so, so difficult to go back and look at stuff and try to make sense of it, especially being this far removed from it. I’ll immerse myself in it for a couple weeks, and then I got to back away because it’s too destructive. But I have to believe it’s going to turn out.”
Nate nije zahtjevan… Želi samo ono na što bi svaki čovjek morao imati pravo:
I asked Nate what he wanted for his future.
“I think the best way to answer that is what I said to my wife when we were fighting at the end.” He paused for a moment. “That I just want peace. I want to not wake up fearful every morning.”
Ja sam ovdje izvukao meni zanimljive dijelove, no preporučam da pročitate cijeli tekst. Pogotovo ako ste vjernik, razmislite… Nitko vas ne tjera da napustite svoju vjeru, ali razmislite što radite vlastitoj djeci i jesu li i Vama usadili strah od dobrog Boga (zašto se uopće dobri ljudi moraju bojati nečeg dobrog?) koji uzrokuje da su vam plašipriče važnije od dobrobiti i psihičkog zdravlja vaše vlastite djece?
Počinjem uviđati zašto je dobro da (barem) katolički svećenici ne smiju imati djecu. 😈
Prije nego mi netko grakne da je to “samo jedan psihopat, a ne službena Crkva”, dozvolite da pitam bi li taj psihopat bio tako dugo na slobodi i nekažnjeno maltretirao djecu, obitelj, pa čak i tugujuće obitelji njemu neznanih ljudi (često američkih vojnika poginulih u ratovima) da nije zaštićen kao “vjerski vođa” – kategorija u koju čak niti države ne diraju dok ih se ne prisili (a ponekad niti onda)? Čemu služi nedodirljivost religijskih organizacija ako ne zaštiti takvih psihopata? Mislite li da dobre ljude treba štititi nedodirljivošću od kaznenog progona?